6 Things Men Should Know Before Approaching a Woman

I’ve had my share of dates, some more successful than others, and have had conversations with women from various backgrounds on what attracts them to a man. Through those experiences I’ve identified 6 key ingredients that any man can adopt which will increase his success rate for meeting a woman.  

1. Confidence is key. Women are attracted to men who exude confidence. It’s an attribute that symbolizes strength and courage. From the way he walks, to the way he talks, to the way he interacts with others a confident man is secure in who he is and it shows. He doesn’t have to be the tallest, fittest, most attractive man in the room, he just needs to possess the right attitude; a lion’s mentality as I like to call it.  The “king of the jungle” is not feared because of its physical characteristics, but rather how it thinks compared to the other animals.  A word of caution here.  There’s a difference between confidence and arrogance, so please don’t confuse the two.  That latter is a turnoff in most cases.

2. Don’t come across as desperate or thirsty. Women can sense that right away. Things like pressing the sex button too early in conversation, or acting like you’ve never interacted with a woman before will scratch you off their list. Relax and enjoy the moment. Allow the conversation to flow naturally as you spend time getting to know who she is, what her interests are, and what the two of you have in common. Eliminate the distractions (i.e. cell phone) and focus your attention on her as if no one else was around. Take a genuine interest in her mind first, and let whatever happens next flow from there. 

3. A little humor goes a long way. According to one study women are 3x more likely to give their number to a man who can make them laugh. These types of men were also thought to be more social, attractive and smarter. Whether that’s true or not in your case, laughter is a universal way to engage a woman, while helping her to relax and feel more comfortable. You’ll come across as less rigid or uptight, and she’ll be more inclined to want to be around you. This doesn’t mean you have to be a comedian, however, so don’t overdo it. 

4. Be yourself. Pretending to be someone you’re not implies that you’re not happy with who you are. You’re assuming that she won’t like what’s presented, which is a flawed way of thinking considering you don’t know what she likes. You’re unique by design, so be yourself. Rely on your strengths and what comes natural and shoot your shot. If she can’t accept you for who you are then she wasn’t meant for you in the first place. 

5. Don’t try to impress her with material things. A lot of women these days are financially secure and don’t need your money. They’re more interested in getting to know who you are versus what you have. Talking about what kind of car you drive, how much money you make, or anything else of a superficial nature can send the wrong message, and is often viewed as a shallow way of representing yourself. Don’t hide behind your possessions or assume that a woman only cares about what you can provide financially.  Save those conversations for later, when something more substantial has been established.  

6. The universe won’t align you with everybody. Remember that if you get rejected, or she doesn’t respond to your advances despite your best efforts. What you’re giving off is not being received in a way that creates a love connection, so don’t take it personal, get discouraged or belittle her as a result. Michael Jordan didn’t make all of his shots and neither will you, so stay committed to the process.  

Vance A. Taylor is a certified life coach who specializes in relationships.  He is the author of You Were Born to Heal: Hope and Transformation from Divorce and Separation (www.youwereborntoheal.com), a book focused on helping men and women heal from divorce, separation, and break-ups, and move forward in a purposeful, transformative way.  He is also the owner of adVancetogrow Coaching.  You can follow him on IG/Twitter/FB @adVancetogrow and visit his website at www.advancetogrow.com